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Meraki

I’m upset, I have complaints and I get sad

It’s not that I feel different

or that I lost connection with what I love

And I don’t mind that I don’t get to show my face to the sun

And that the strangers don’t smile to me no more

That I don’t get to wear my pretty dresses

That I’ve missed the spring that I’ve been dreaming and planning all winter for

But time… 

is something weird

I forget things even if I have a great memory

I recall memories and everything’s there

But I can’t feel your touch on my skin

And it’s really hard to explain what I mean.

I’ve practiced dancing and yoga, 

meditation and french

And I get to write more poetry now

I think I’m even getting better at it

And I love these mountains

even though I never explored them 

never walked barefoot on the grass

Just on the street 

when I was little

And I used to be scolded

like walking barefoot is something wrong

Something that shouldn’t be done

forbidden and

dirty

Not for a child like me

Who has let school and society tell me

Who I should be.

Dear Earth, 

Mother Nature, 

roots

I belong here, 

but at the same time I don’t 

and it’s strange

But I’ve abandoned myself completely

in another place.

Published inpoems